When the cats away....

You can't believe this place I call work. I am surrounded by absolute nuttiness. Last month and frankly over a period of a couple of months my sawed-off boss thought it was vital to his manhood to bring me down a few pegs, so he started challenging me on everything we do around here and at one point took a copule of swings at me. Then he threatened to fire me of which he quickly recanted as soon as I informed him I had called the police on him regarding the assault and that I planned on suing his ass. Now I can't detatch him from my ass.

Picture a H. Ross Perot look alike and with the same irritating voice and speech pattern following you around calling you buddy and laughing at all your jokes. Constantly telling you how much he likes your work and how professional you are and all the bullshit that accompanies an all-out-kiss-ass-assault. Last week he came into my office and told me he was closing some of the offices across the hall and I was welcome to take any of the furniture from the offices I wanted. And he meant I could take it home and have for keeps. We went through all the offices and there was plenty of top cabin desks, bookshelves, credenzas and all the other office stuff you'd expect.

I asked him how much he wanted for them. He told me nothing they're just mine to take. Hmmmm? This guy is usually so damn tight when he squeezes a nickle and Indian comes out of it riding a buffalo. (Sorry NCAA) Something else to think about our annual bonuses are supposedly paid out at the end of this month. I'm thinking this guy is going to give me a bunch of furniture for a bonus. So I plan on taking it all and having a garage sale.

Then Peach, his lovely and gracious swine of a wife comes into my office later in the day and says, Sir Von Ass-Wipe, told me he has giving you all the oak desks and bookshelves. You have great taste Pirate. Those bookshelves are at least $400 apiece. Cha-ching!!!! I think I hear the hook coming.

Now here is the funny part. I am the only one in the office all week long, except for the "Tit-support-system", who rolled in this morning a hour and a half late. She sticks her head in my office at 9:30 and tells me in her most giggly-manner, she forgot to set her alarm. Then walked into ther door jamb on her way out.

How can anyone 49 going on 21 (that's not a typo) forget to set your alarm? Hell, I haven't set an alarm since college. I doubt if she wears herself out enough on a Sunday night where she needs reminding to wake up in the morning and go to work. Then you watch, about 11:00 she'll come in and tell me she has to go somewhere and that will be the last I will see her today.

Anyway before I go too long on this post. Can you imagine someone being silly enough to leave a friggin Pirate alone in their office after they have already tried to screw him over. Not smart...