Getting ready for Yakima

You would think going to Yakima for the fifth time in last year would have me all fired up. I was told yesterday that I was going to Yakima for ten days or more and I leave Monday, 1/24/05. Have you ever been in Yakima in January. Its cold as hell and there is little to do in Yakima other than drink. Since I have given up drinking , I mean mostly given up for herb, this might be a decent road trip. Sit around the motel room at night getting a hat on and watching porn.

I will be on the road for the next week or so and it may be difficult to blog. I will try everything I can to leave some kind of posts (that is just in case someone actually gives a rat's ass).

I am still editing 1/20/05 post. I am holding onto it to see if the descriptions are clever enough to keep my boss from being able to see himself in it. I doubt if he'll ever find the page; stranger things have happened. The last thing I need is to get fired because I accurately painted the picture of my boss and his suck ass protege and his private office candy on a blog page. I would like it but Mrs. Pirate would have my nuts.

Hmmm. She may already have my nuts. They weren't there this morning when I got up and went in to the shower. Like every morning I stand in front of the mirror as the shower water warms, and check them out. I don't stand and stare I usually have a secret peek thing going and maybe a little brush-type of scratch just for small fix. This morning the mirror seemed extra blurry so when I went for that little peek I didn't see them dangling where I have always seen them. I then tried a little scratch and they weren't there. I looked in my shorts that were laying on the floor and they weren't there either. Then I remembered that Mrs. Pirate told me last night, on our way to the gym, that her make-up bag has been missing for the last several days. Is there some kind of transforming going on? I wondered. I've heard this happens with couples who have been together for too many years. Or is that pet owners and their dogs? We may even have a make-up bag theif running around who also has a nut fetish.

I think the post is excellent (the one being held in the edit mode) even if I have to say so myself. The descriptions of the characters are so right on. I think the little sawed off Swizzle Dick (boss) with a major Napoleon complex would have me sent to Elba if he evr found the page. It certainly would beat Yakima.

Is it possible that the make-up bag thief could be the same ass that stole my nuts? I know they were there last night, because I watched Law and Order. I usually lay on the couch and watch Law and Order marathons and scratch my nuts when I have had a long day of pirating.

Anyway back to Yakima. You can see how heartless the US government must have been back when they were settling the land swaps with the Indians. The Yakima Indians own a lot of the land around Yakima. You can tell because there is a casino in Toppenish or Wapato, plus everything has an Indian name. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to move to Yakima unless you are a displaced Indian. I travel all over the Northwest and can find beauty in every place I go, except Yakima. I don't know what the hell it is, I can't.

Mrs. Pirate just called, she says she found my nuts. I left them next to the book I am reading and my reading glasses. Man I was getting fucking worried. Its not that I need them. I already have enough little pirates. Its just you get accustom to warm, soft and hair toys (like those Indian yo-yos we used to buy when we were kids on vacation with Mom and Dad Pirate). Plus it feels really good when you subconsciencously dig your (I don't mean anyone in particular when I use the pronoun your) nails into the backside and slowly scratch away. Then with the same hand grab a handful of popcorn out of Mrs. Pirate's popcorn bowl.

My mom called to tell me my little sister, Kimber has just come out of surgery and the lump is malignent. She also told me that my sister is pregnant. Not bad for her 41st birthday; shit. And I thought I was having fucked day.

At least I'll have my nuts to scratch tonight. I hope Law and Order is on.