Thursday, March 30, 2006

Pirate sexy?

Someone out there has either went around the bend or has found a new way to do prank phone calls. Apparently someone named "dd" has nominated the Pirate as one of the sexiest males bloggers at bestofblogger.blogspot.com.

I'll admit there is a little meglamania in me and I have had days I am completely egocentric but sexiest has never been my goal. Oh, maybe when I was in college and trying to get the attention of the cute blonde in my statistics class, sexiest may have worked. But as a 46 year old Pirate?

I have a couple ideas who this "dd" is. It could be the infamous Reverend Doctor Abigambi. He does little on Wednesdays other then sit around his office and grade under-grad's papers, leaving little notes of guidance, encouragement and his personal cell number in the margins. He also has been seen around Portland using my moniker in order to get free drinks at the pubs along the banks of the Willamette. I also think he has had a hard time forgetting about that camping trip in the Olympias we took when we were young coeds. He has never forgiven me when he found out that I participated in a sit-in during the 1980s demanding a nuclear freeze. He agreed with the direction of the protest but he was actually miffed to find out that most of the guys from our college house were only participating because of the free weed, free beer and the potential for free butt.

If it isn't the Rev. Dr. it could be the robotic psycho-tech UB6IB9. Ever since I gave the cyborg his freedom when I was in my mid-20's, he has spent many of his nano-time trying to get back into my social circle. He constantly leaves messages on my telephone recorder and my cell. Messages of beep,beep bip, bip, bift can easily be traced back to him. I caught him talking to my lawn mower the other night and he tried to say he didn't know that the Briggs and Stratton was mine, he thought I would own a Snapper. Yeah, like people never change.

Then it hit me. It could be Sir Von Asswipe and his lovely and gracious wife, Peach. She always had the eye on me and he knew it. Ever since I dissed her on the way she eats red licorice, telling the blogworld that it looked like a wilderbeast kill at a watering hole in Africa. Plus you just know that sawed-off, pip-squeak has had it in for me for some time because I blocked his advances with a knee to the groin. He took the blow as a promise to things to come.

Even Can-O-Corn is not above suspicion. He has never forgiven me for buying an electrical can opener.

Man, you just know it is one of these characters.

I suggest you all go to this blog site and nominate male bloggers who have the tools and the ability to carry such honor for a year. I would encourage nominations of, Hoss, Dale, Big White Hat, or the Stringman and leave this old Pirate out of it.

Go vote and allow you own sexiest blog star baste in the glow of glory.


Peace...