Monday, March 27, 2006

Spring Break

It ain't easy being a work at home dad during spring break. The morning was easier then usual because I only had to give Mrs. Pirate a ride to work. No taxi work for the teenagers. No they slept in until 9:30. The only reason the boys got up at all was they had track practice. Little Sister who has risen in fame of late decided it was a great day to see what she could pump from dad.

At first she claimed there was nothing to eat in the house and was wondering if we could go through the drive in at McDonalds. "Besides dad don't you want to try their new coffee?". I know darngood and well there was plenty to eat because I personally went to WalMart Superstore and laid out over $200 yesteray for nothing but food. She was relentless. She knows my weaknesses for good coffee and cheap breakfast sandwiches. I threw out everything I could to block her shots to my chinked armor. But eventually she broke me down and we did the drive through thing. McDonald's new coffee was not all that bad. Strong and hot like it should be. I then tried pouring some on my lap but chickened out.

When track practice was over and our home became Grand Central "Hang out". Along with the girlfriends came the best buddies and a few tag alongs. Some friends gathered in the living room to watch "The History of Violence", some crowded into Jock's room to play one of his loud video games and two or three ended up in Slick's room to play on his computer and harrass classmates on "My Space" and play phone tag. Apparently a couple of them decided they needed to take a shower at our house instead of the showers at the school. All pleasant kids they are but a house full when you're trying to write and do research it is not easy.

Eventually most left for the mall to catch a movie and to bother other adults. That left Slick and his buddy Jake at my disposal. I talked them into going to the gas station with me and bribed them with a candy bar and soda. When we got home I showed them how the lawn mower worked. I showed them how cool it was that God made their hands fit the handle so perfectly. I ended up doing the front yard as an example of the joys in lawn mowing and left the two goofs doing the back yard.

When I got back to my computer and the house was empty except for the mowers in the back yard I once again attempted to do some work. Then I heard the lawn mower having troubles. Then I was summond to the back yard to help. The two mowers apparently tipped the lawn mower over too far and got oil in the air filter. Now I am far from a mechanic let alone a small engine repair guy. Hell, I don't even have a shirt with my name on a patch let along know much about repairing things mechanical. I just know a couple basic things like filling it up with gas, checking the spark plug and checking the air filter. Luckily the problem fell within my realm of repair.

Sweaty, bitchy and feeling a little behind nothing, I finally got back to work. I got my headphones on, Emmylou Harris singing about a red road when Slick and his sidekick showed up in my office again. "Dad could you give us a ride to the mall?" I could easily say no, but then they would be nearby, plotting something else. So I loaded the two in the rig and ran them to the mall.

Finally, I sat down to get at least two hours of uninterupted work in. The phone rang, Mrs. Pirate decided to get off early to come home to spend some time with the kids. I told her they were all dead and thrown off a bridge. She said good, come get me and we can have sometime together uninterupted.

Don't you just love Spring Break. I think next year I'll plan a vacation where wet T-shirts are the norm and drunk teens are calling for the shots. It would definately be quieter and easier to work.

At least in ain't raining....


Peace...