Sneezing

Just a heads up. The Pirate will be sailing for the next several days. I will be docking in Roseburg, Oregon and Grants Pass, Oregon for some old fashion rape, pillage and plunder. I will be taking Jock with me for a Pirate-dad and wannabe-Pirate discussion. A fork in the road talk with dad and Jock. I plan to show him what it is like to be an assassin Pirate.

I sneezed a little while ago and it must of jarred some memory blanks loose or revived some dead brain cells.

When I was a freshman in college Pirate in 1978 (you do the math). Several of us fired up and red-eyed freshmen boys had noticed that there was a seminar on adult sexuality being conducted at one of the auditoriums on campus that night. So we banded together and took our hormonal-ladden selves to the seminar, after we got our hats on first.

I do not remember a whole lot from the seminar other than two things that have stayed with me ever since. That was the first time I had ever heard of or ever knew of a tiny secret that would become my best friend forever. The clitoris. All sexual encounters up to that point were for my gratification only. I knew nothing else. Hell, I didn't know there was this tiny Pirate sailing the depths waiting for me to give him a hand. It wasn't all that long ago at that time I had gotten into a fight with another kid at school after he told me what "fucking" was. I had figured his family might be that sick but I was pretty damn confident my folks hadn't done anything like that in our house. So how in the heck was suppose to know about a clit nine years later?

The second tid bit of data that I got from the seminar was that physically when you have an orgasm your body is doing the same thing as when you sneeze. Blood is rushing to the surface. Surface of what I don't remember, but its rushing.

This has been very helpful data to know. Since I travel a lot I am never without a can of pepper. In fact, I can hardly wait for hay fever season. I love nothing more than to find a budding cottonwood tree sit my ass at its base and sneeze my head in. After a sneezing fit (often self induced) I reach for a Marlboro Light, lay back and take it all in.

I'll see you all later, happy sneezing.