Speaking of Pot

My little brother is a cop. Yes, I'll admit it I do like one cop. He tells me of all of the years he has had on the force and the many years he has been a detective he has been to more calls for dead people sitting on the pot than anything else. He claims that he has seen more dead people (mostly old guys) sitting dead on the toilet then in auto wrecks, shootings, accidents of any type. Almost everyone I have brought this up to has told me they had a friend of friend or family member die on the pot.

This began me thinking about pots and asking do we know what we have in our homes? Elvis was found dead on the pot. All of the terrorist attacks were done in or around 9 am (the busiest place in a building at that time is the pot). Oklahoma City, World Trade Center (both times), the Pentagon all early hours of a work day. I think the toilet may be more dangerous than the automobile, the hand gun, eating at McDonalds, or joining the Army Reserves.

Now that Dan Rather will have more time on his hands maybe he can get Michael Moore to help him make a documentary on the dangers of porcelain.

I once heard that before Bush was a part owner of a baseball team he sat on a pot for over seven minutes. In fact a member of the Bin Laden family even used a pot in his dad's house once. When GW was young and a party guy he probably left a lot of potential kids on the toilet seat too.

If it is true about the dangers of the pot it may do us all well to start a national campaign against pots. We have movements for everything else. What should our name be? Anti-crappers? Shit stoppers?

If we can't make the manufacturers of pots stop, maybe we can make it manditory that no one can use the pot until after lunch.