Thursday, October 20, 2005

Who is Blaze?

I have referred to her in many posts as Blaze. Who is she? She is my soon to be 24 year old daughter. One of my four pride and joys. Besides being one of the prettiest people to ever walk this Earth she is without question the sweetest. Since many of those who read my blog are relatively new to my Pirate musings I thought it would be a good idea to introduce you to my brood over the next few weeks. You have read where Jock embarrassed me while dining out by screaming to the other patrons that he and his father proudly pissed in the sink. This little story is why I think Blaze grew up to be a paramedic out trying to save the world.

When she was five, a friend of mine and I took her pheasant hunting. A typically smart thing for a Pirate to do, take a little girl who had rarely been around a gun thus far in her life and start killing things in front of her.

On our way out to our favorite hunting place, out in the middle of nowhere we came across two rooster pheasants graveling along side a cornfield. I pulled the truck over and Mike and I snuck up on the birds. POW! POW!

We had hit one of the birds. I mean to say I hit one of the birds, God only know what Mike was shooting at. The bird didn’t die right away it started flipping around and around. My daughter was standing on the seat in the truck screaming her head off. Daddy, help the birdie, please daddy help the birdie. I ran to the injured bird and rung its neck and then threw it into the bed of the truck, but it flipped around in the bed for some time after it finally died. By now Blaze was completely losing it. Crying, pleading and sobbing her little head off.

Mike and I looked at each other and tried everything to calm her. She wouldn’t have it. No way is she going to sanction her daddy to kill birdies. So Mike suggested we go back into town and see if we can get her something to sooth her. We drove back into little Warden, Washington and went to a small café to buy Blaze something good to eat like warm apple pie alamode and hot chocolate. After she got her fill, Mike and I decided to take Blaze home and we could just come back out later or maybe tomorrow. Leaving town I decide to go another direction home so I wouldn’t alarm Blaze anymore than I already had.

A few miles outside of Warden we came upon a pig farm. There were thousands of little piggies running around. Mike looked out at all the baby pigs and said, “Look Blaze, look at all those baby piggies.”

She immediately sat up in her seat and with the look of horror. She lunged at me and wrapped her arms around my neck and began to plead with me. “Please daddy, don’t kill the baby piggies, please, please!
I figure she has become a paramedic/firefighter in order to save the world from her Pirate daddy.