How did they find me?

I have no idea how this ever came about and I need to know where I turn to end it. I don't know how they got my business phone number either.

About two months ago I began getting these telephone calls from salespeople. I don't mean the ones trying to sell you a new mortgage or timeshare condos, not even the ones that want you to switch long distant providers. These salespeople want me to invest monies into their projects.

The first one was regarding alternative energy devices but they weren't as aggressive as the ones that would follow. I was able to thwart their efforts by simply telling them that I was moving back to nature. I claimned my family and I was moving to the Mosquito Coast at the end of month, therefore we had no need for energy and didn't foresee us ever coming back. Unless society went back to lighting the streets with sperm whale oil.

Then my name must have gotten passed around to a more persistant group. Groups that employed the fast talking, take no answer other than yes, groups. These folks weren;t employing your typical Pakistani or Indian, that butchers your name in some boiler room in Asia. No professional shills I would guess.

I have named these people, "sales-terrorists". I have a memo into Cheney and Bush right now to see if these sales terrorists could be elevated to the level of concern by the Department of Homeland Security. Still answer yet. Even with my doctored pictures of Colin Powell giving Valerie Plume some yellow cake (I think its yellow cake, the picture is blurry).

The latest is a cell that goes by the name, Trailer Park Terror Productions. These guys call me six or seven times a day trying to get me to invest at least $100,000 for the movie they are currently producing. The movie is called "The Skin Game". The premise is a whore who lives in a trailer park brings men home every night, she seduces them, screws them and then poisons them. She then peels off their skin and sells the skin to burn victim facilties who use the skin on their patients. She also has their corpses grounded up and sells it as organic dog food at the local "Hippie Market".

The Executive Producer just called me and said he rally needs my money in order to finish this project. He was telling me he was on the sound floor at the very moment we were talking. He said there were no actors present or he'd have one of them talk to me.

Another guy calls me up with a thick New Yorker accent, I think it was a New York accent. It could have been from anywhere other then the West Coast. He sounded too much like Vinnie Barbarino too be from anywhere West of the Mississippi. He was interested in selling me stocks.

I answered the phone and for the next five minutes without taking a breath this guy tlls me why I should invest at least $25,000 in stocks he recommends. And then he asks me what my favorite stock was. I know very little about stocks and have mainly invested in property over the years. So I said "AOL".

He began laughing and asked if i had said, "AOL, American On Line?"

I said that's one. He said hey stupid you don't anything about stocks do you? Let me help you.

I hung up of course. Then this morning as I am rolling my fat butt out of bed my business phone rings and its that Vinnie Barbarino dude again. Only he acts like we have never spoken to each other before. His approach was much nocer and he is going to send me his business card and then next week we can talk what stocks we need to look at.

Beside these guys I have been called to invest in a company that refurbishes train cars, a company that invests in NASCAR, a company that buys HUD repos, a company that restores old oil pumps and riggings, and a company that is pursuing the fashion industry.

My question is where are these people coming from? And how did they get my business number? Why are they so damn aggressive and what makes them think I am dumb enough to giuve a complete stranger such a sum of money as they are asking/

Man I'll take the folks from India selling me mortgages excessive charge cards or even the male enhancement cram salespeople over these terrorists any day.


Peace...