Home repair is for better men then me

Thought I'd sneak in a word while Mrs. Pirate is busy working in the backyard. We got our weekly visit to Walmart for the groceries and finished most of the work around the house minus the three big repairs that wil have to wait until Spring and when money starts rolling in, or trickling in. How ever it flows I hope its soon.

This winter we had a leak in our roof right above the front door entrance. So now when you enter our abode you are met with an eye-sore. I have tried to make it look as appealing as possible but stripped down plaster and water stains can only be dressed up so much. What worries me is this will undoubtly become an issue with the outside roof as well. Then we have the upstairs bathroom floor that needs replaced. We have capsulated our showering in the house to the downstairs bathroom which has been interesting at best. Three teenagers getting their showers in during the morning rush has been touch and go on a few mornings. I am still able to get a lot of my reading done in the upstairs bathroom though.

The other project is the replacement of half of our backyard fence. Not being Bob Villa and never claiming to be the inside house projects will have to be hired out. As for the fence, that is one i can handle as soon as the weather warms up. I can dig holes and pound nails but doing floors and roofs; not on your life.

Whenever Mrs. Pirate starts in on the repair work I always remind her that never once in my life did I ever claim to be Mr. House Repair. I remind her if tshe goes back and looks at my application I boldly marked the box that said, "Worthless at house repairs". Oh, I can mow yards, dig up plants, plant other plants, paint, clean the pool, I am excellent at helping clean the house and as my new career of workjing at home has proven I am damn good at laundry and the dishwasher. I am also really good at having dinner done when the brood gets home at the end of the day along with walking the dogs and cleaning up after the cats. But home repairs, forget it.

People who know me well know to stay the hell away from me whenever I am busy taking on a home repair. It usually includes ten or more trips to Lowe's or Home Depot, a lot of pissing and moaning and eventually the repair is worse then when I first ateempted to fix it.

Don't get me wrong I admire those men and women who have the knack for fixing and rpairing things. I almost worship them but I am not on their team by any stretch of the imagination. Many have made me feel inadequate, not by anything they have done but because I internally feel so small next to such men. I have avoiding friendships just because I figured out that the male in the couple is handy around the house. When my in-laws come to visit I always want some kind of project going so I can put on the facade. My father-in-law owned and operated an equipment rental store and a sporting goods store when my wife was growing up and he has all the tools and the know how to do any home repair along with a career of killing a number of animals and being a guide for some of America's most famous wannabe hunters. I grew up hunting and fishing and do enjoy it when I get the opportunity but fixing things around the house I am impotent. Hell, I am a damn Pirate for heaven's sakes. I am use to destroying things not putting them back together.

I just heard the backdoor close, I think she is looking for me. Gotta go and look busy. So don't blame me 'cause that's the way I found it and in this instance the story I am sticking to.

Peace....