Drinks for Everybody

Being under the weather and not having the creative muse at work today I went back and dug up one of my favorite jokes from March. Addict you can figure this is the Brick and Hoos maybe the oldPink Elephant out in Four Corners. The rest of you around the country consider this your favorite wateringhole.

The other day Mrs. Pirate and I were sitting in a bar in beautiful downtown Salem, Oregon enjoying a couple pints of Black Butte Porter when a gangly fellow staggered in. He staggered up to the bar looked the place over and yelled, “Drinks for everybody, even you Mr. Bartender”.

The place livened up and everyone held his or her empty up and said thank you. The bartender refilled everyone’s glass and slapped back one himself. As I licked the bottom of my glass the fellow yelled out again, “Drinks for everybody, even you Mr. Bartender”.

Hey, I was really taken by this guy. The bartender poured the house full again and slapped back another himself. My new friend continued his graciousness five or six more times. Then the bartender thanked him for being such a gent but told the fellow he couldn’t pour anymore until the good fellow paid his tab up. Then the bartender would be more than happy to continue.

My new friend straightened his back and in his best swaying and slurring attempt told the bartender he didn’t have any means to pay up the tab. Naturally the bartender was enraged. What do you mean you don’t have any money?” he screamed.

"I’m sorry I have no means to pay,” slurred my new friend.

The bartender leaped over the bar, grabbed the gracious fellow and hauled him to the alley. In the alley the bartender pounded our new friend to the ground. Punching, stomping and kicking the downed fellow the bartender figured he had reached his compensation in flesh for the six rounds of drinks.

The beaten fellow got to his feet and staggered away. The bartender returned to his charge.

After the commotion had ended and the patrons had gotten back to purchasing their own spirits the fellow staggered back in through the front door. Everyone turned and watched our new friend stagger towards the bar. When our beaten drunk friend got to the bar he turned and yelled, “Drinks for everyone, except you bartender. You get rowdy when you drink.”