Some Days

You know me I really don't like to play victim. I refuse to buy into the victimhood mantality. I have little patience with whining. I have stated many times that life is fair because its crappy for everyone and its what we do with that crap that measures us. I have never accepted long periods of "woe is me" trips, in myself. But for the last three weeks I have not been the happy go lucky Pirate.

It could be the weather. Its been raining damn near every day here in western Oregon. Typical spring for this area and the time of the year. nothing to get all Algored up about.

I know I am not mensing because I have been told Pirates don't do that. That's more a damsel type of thing.

All my limbs and organs are working and the family clan claim that they appreciate me. The dog still comes to me and cat's still ignore me. Everything appears normal there.

I have all Mrs. Pirate's birthday list bought and paid for with three days to spare. The in-laws are on their way but that is three days away.

But I just don't want to play. I am having a hard time finding the color in anything.

There was a rash of people near and dear to me passing away last month. Then last week I pried out of my dad that he has several spots to contend with on his liver and he has to start kemo for the third time in as many years for prostate cancer. He still acts like its no big deal. I do not see any fear in his eyes or hear it in his voice. I sometimes wonder if he really has any feelings about much.

I'm helping a family member with finances due to their health status and the inability to find work due to their condition and that has become a real ride. He now has legal problems and Clint Eastwood's security is all pissed off at him and I am his conduit when it comes to reality. So that has been a real pain in the arse.

My aunt has been in and out of the hospital with heart bypasses and has kept it secret from the rest of us until the last couple of weeks.

Then a project with a client went to heck and probably will end a long term professional relationship and create a big bunch of crap. Nothing I could have done about it but the chips will fall on my lap.

I am informed last week we need to have a new roof put on the house. The bids are all $6,000 and up. Crap.

The refrigerator is making a lot of whistling noises and now the jen-air is howling. When I am in the kitchen batching up the Pirate clan's mess it sounds like I am standing in the middle of cat fight. Or one of the worst choirs to ever be assembled. If the dishwasher even starts to make a noise the shot gun is coming out.

All this and the newly diagnosed diabetics thing have gotten me in a not so good mood. I know there are several more things to whine about but it might start to piss me off.

Maybe tomorrow will better. I apologize for dumping all of this but I have no idea where to put it all.


Peace...