You do not...

As a Pirate of the great vast oceans of this "Big old Ball" I have come to know certain laws of experience. These laws are not passed by legislative bodies, they are not chisled by God Almighty onto stone tablets, they are not provided by the governing sciences either. These are laws that of common sense based on experience.

You do not touch a hot burner on the stove. At least not more then once.

You do not spit or piss into the wind. Unless you like to wear the bile you projext.

You do not count your chickens before they are hatched. This one is definately God's way of making you humbled.

You do not badmouth a waitress or a cook about your food and have it sent back to the kitchen to be prepared the way you want it. Unless you prefer the taste of arm pit sweat or worse.

You do not pull off the mask of the Lone Ranger. According to Jim Croce. I think it depends on who is playing the Lone Ranger. I personally am less afraid of the Lone Ranger then I am Superman so I wouldn't pull on his cape either.

You do not wrestle naked with another man unless you are in prison or making movies for the great land of Kazikstan.

You do not drink out of a can unless you have looked inside first. Trust me on this one.

You do not open a package of bearclaws in the dark while you are driving along some dark highway in northern Arizona without turning the dome light on first before you chomp down on a bearclaw. Another one you have to trust me on.

And the one that comes to mind today is never do you assume Reverends Jessie and Al are finished with their crusade is complete after their target is beheaded.

Behind these two social charaltan huckster's "act" of indignation is a progressive group of socialists that call themselves "Media Matters". This group and those they financially support are bent on rubbing out the voices of the conservative radio and to erase the words of those they disagree with in written word. My guess is Don Imus is only the beginning of the movement. So if you have a favorite columnist or radio personality that may wrankle the panties of the left be prepared to watch them lose their heads this upcoming political season.

Oh, and do not ever think the Pirate isn't going to provide his comments on all things political or social. Can't help it.

Peace...