Monday, September 25, 2006

Camp Rilea Race

Mrs. Pirate and I spent the weekend in Astoria, one of the oldest towns on the Pacific and definately the oldest in the Pacific Northwest. What a great little town. Most of the buildings are brick fronts that resemble America in the 1800s. The town lays on a mound of hills that overlooks the mouth of the Columbia River. The geographic layout itself is beautiful and the what the history of fishermen, canneries, loggers and others that live off the land did to the location makes it easily one of the most beautiful places in America.

To make it easy on travelers there are more places to get a good bite to eat then you an shake a stick at. And antigue shops coming dot the main and back streets. The little city also has become the "Hollywood" of Oregon. Movies such as, "Goonies" and "Kindergarten Cop" were filemd there as was the "The Ring", "Closed Circuit" and many more. I have no doubt a movie based on a couple Stephen King stories has been shot there.

We had drove up the night before the Annual Camp Rilea Three Course Cross Country event. Every year for I don't know how many, the National Guard puts on a cross country race at Camp Rilea. The event has to be one of the best high school sporting events out there.

Over 2000 runners from 99 schools participated this year. The schools come from Canada, Washington, Oregon, Idaho and California. The kids stay at the camp for a couple of days where there is a dance and a movie put on for them. They eat together and get to meet other young people from all over.

The race has three courses, Red, White and Blue. White is the easy course and is recommended for freshmen, novices and newcomers to the sport. Blue course is the moderate course and has some difficulty such as a leg along beach. Then the Red course is obviously the, "Death" course. The night before the race the kids draw a marble from a bucket which indicates the color of the course they will have to run.

Slick got off easier this year and drew a White marble. Lil Sis who is a freshman had the option of picking white as well. She wanted to try her luck and to her happiness drew the Red marble.

The morning of the race when Mrs. Pirate and I made it to the race we were met by two very happy kids. Slick elated to not have to run the death course and Lil Sis overwhelmingly happy she got to put herself through hell.

We couldn't asked for better weather or a better day.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Has the Pirate turned into another Political Pundit?

Some may think I have have flipped my noggin and went all out right-wing whacko. Others may say we really don't care about politics so write about those topics that make us smile and yet the great Rev Dr. Abagambi will state he knows all those years of mowing grass have finally eaten my brain away.

I have had some ask me why do I always slap a wet onde up against the head of the liberals and Democrats whenever I get the chance. One of the reasons is I am a pot stirrer and like kicking up a lather when possible. I also want all my liberal and Democratic friends to get a look how their political views closely resemble the views of the anti-American foreign leaders.

I am also striking out in my own little way how I think the Democrat election strategy is wrong and lends itself to the detriment of this great country.

I have no problem with disagreements and descent I have a real problem making such waves when we have men and women in harms way fighting for the freedoms we apathetically enjoy. Plain and simple I am a homer and will do everything possible to support the home team until the game is over and the foes have gotten on the bus and went home.

I have no problem reviewing the game film and making sure we don't make the same mistakes in the future but in no way am I ever going to yell for the other team when the clock is running.

It looks like New York Democrat Charles Rangle read my blog last night. He told Chavez to never again come into our country and bad mouth our president. He said Bush may be a devil but he is our devil.

Not to be left out the world's third most powerful person, Nancy "The Joker" Pelosi dittoed Rangles comments. She also said she prefers Seattle's Best over Starbuck's and she has the anxiety spells to prove it.

The pirate's political party alignment has only a few players. These two are responsible for the entertainment at that party. Jimmy plays guitar and Kinky provides the fatties.

As long as they find a place in their cabinet for Condi I am all for these two running the whole show.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Chavez Marries Ahmadinejad

This clown to the left pointing toward the direction of where his dictatorship will be heading in the next year or so, brought his form of comedy to the UN today. Speaking straight from the talking points Howard Dean had slipped him prior to taking to the dias, Hugo Chavez spewed his hate in the land of freedom by calling President Bush, the devil; el diablo.

He spent his time in front of the free world taking shot after shot at our President. He claimed President Bush is trying to take over the world through terror and he thinks he likes to throw his weight around with the USA's technology and military strength.

Chavez drew a few laughs from the motley crew who comprise his aduience when he said he could still smell the stinch of Bush from the day before who had stood in the same place 24 hours earlier. I think the odor was coming from his upper lip.

Chavez then told the world he is closely aligned with Iran, Cuba and the Democratic party of the USA. And told the world if the USA does anything to stop the move of Iran to attain nuclear weapons he would push the price of oil to $200 per barrell. Then he encouraged the world to read the latest anti-American tripe from the messiah of the left, Noam Chomsky.

As the Democrat party numbers begin to slip in the polls over the next month and a half they will claim that Bush planned this whole UN Summit in order to manipulate the election.

Well, Hugo. Let me make this perfectly clear. Bush may be a devil but he is our devil and a lowly little tin-horn dictator like you is nothing but a gnat in history. Your time is limited and your type need not apply for any further consideration. You better enjoy the few years you have left at the top of your heap because you are coming down soon.

Shortly after his speech Chavez was caught in the hall of the UN making out with his boyfriend Ahmadinejad.

I think there is a little tongue being slopped around there.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Man I Hate to Lose

I'm sure some of you had the fortune to watch the Oregon Ducks vs. Oklahoma Sooners game this weekend. The game went down to the wire and the Ducks had the good fortune to pull out a victory. Or snatch victory from the teeth of defeat as a more dramatic sports writer would have penned.

What a game it was. Two superb football programs meeting in Eugene for the first time and only the seventh meeting of both teams.

The first half was all Ducks. Then the next two quarters it was all Sooners. Except for the last 2 minutes. In this back and forth battle on the gridiron came to the final two minutes the Sooners led 33 to 20. The Ducks needed a miracle to win and boy did they get one, or maybe two, it depends on who you talk to.

The Ducks were fortunate enough to get the first touchdown by sure determination leaving them down 27 to 33. They then needed to recover the football on an onside kick. The kicker booted the ball against the ground and it bounced high in the air. Coming down across the imaginary line that laid ten yards away from where it was kicked. After reviewing the replay the refs gave the ball to the Ducks.

The Ducks then took the ball from mid-field and drove the remaining yards to a long bomb pass to supposedly clinch the victory. Autzen Stadium went crazy. People who had already headed for their cars were trying desprately to get back in and the security forces were holding back the salivating crowd from going onto the field.

With 45 seconds remaining the Ducks kicked off to the Sooners and one of the oklahoma players brought the ball back into Duck territory. After one running play the Sooners spiked the ball to stop the clock with 2 seconds remaining. They sent out their sure score kicking team for the final dagger to the Duck's heart. The ball was hiked and the place setter laid the ball down for the kicker right wherfe he was suppose to. And the kicker gave the ball a boot and luck bieng the Duck's that day, the Duck's defense blocked the field goal attempt and made the Ducks the victors.

Now all we hear is the whinny Sooner fans and President of their school demanding that the game be removed from the record books because they feel they got riped off by the poor refering job on the onside kick.

They don't mention that the only reason the Sooners were ahead was because of the four bad calls against the Ducks in the third and fourth quarter prior to the onside kick. The misplacing the ball on the Duck's 47 instead of their own 47 on their last touchdown. They forget to mention that the last touchdown made by the Sooners came on a play that the play clock had been sitting on zero for some time. They don't mention that the Sooner receiver stepped out of bounds on his trek to the end zone.

They also forget to mention the offensive interference the Sooner receiver did in the end zone on one of their touchdowns. Thay only want to whine about the onside kick.

Get over it. You had ample opportunity to win the game Oklahoma and you didn't. I have been an avid watcher of football for years and have seen Oklahoma get their share of calls and a lot of their prominence over the years has been held up because of many of those poor calls.

Maybe we should play it over again.


Thursday, September 14, 2006

Rock Star my Rear

For the last two years I have been an avid Rock Star fan. I personally can't stand any most of the reality type programs. Too many of the programs encourage the worst characteristics of competition and even being a human being. The drama that comes with back-biting and sabatoge only appeal to me when on the open seas and the crew has been out of port for over a month or two then I can appreciate a good drama. But for TV entertainment, count me out on Big Brother or

Now Rock Star is a whole other story. It is a show that encourages the performers to "Bring it". Put your talent on display and your heart on your sleeve and ROCK!

Last year's winner JD Fortune gave me some reservations throughout season but by the end there was little doubt he had what it took to front a band and bring the intensity for a two hour show. And most of all he was talented.

This year there the crew was more talented. It was obvious from the beginning Magni, Storm Large, Toby Rand and Ryan Star were headed to to the top. The band SuperNova had a different view on the competition. Last night they had whittled the group of 16 down to two. The two I thought who should have been cut several weeks back. Some because of their "drama" that instantly turns me off and I didn't think they entertained me at all. The final two were Dilana and Lukas. With Lukas some how coming out on top.

To show you how much I know Lukas evidently recieved the most votes of the contestants. So you know how in tune the Pirate is.

To make myself feel better I went to the corporate coffee house, "Starbucks", last night and bought the new Dylan CD, Modern Times. You need to hear it. There is some old and some new in the CD.

In other news today. A back up punter from Northern Colroado State decided riding the bench wasn't his cup of tea. So he dressed in a black hoody and attacked the starting punter with a club and a knife. First he struck the youg man from behind to drop him to the ground. Then he stabbed the boy in his kicking leg. Talking about getting an edge on the competition.

I read today a MySpace participant was arrested for trying to hire a Pirate, uhm mm, a hitman to kill another MySpace girl for having put her picture on the first girls boyfriend's MySpace. MySpace users must be cheap because all she paid was $400 with a $100 bonus when the job was complete. You know the Blogger crowd would pay more then that.

I also read today that a British scientist has discovered that men are smarter then women. Well, duh. You just know this guy can't be married. I'm waiting for the next step in the research when he figures out if being a blonde has anything to do with IQ.

I see where the president of Iran has said he believes that Iran would be a better world leader then the USA. And the Democrats seconded his opinion. Well, not all the Democrats. Hillary is still on our side but we need to keep an eye on Carter, Kerry and Kennedy.

Speaking of Hillary I have been thinking about doing a remake of the Wizard of Oz. Don't you think Hillary would be an excellent Dorothy?

Who should play the other parts? If you think Hillary would be better suited for an other part feel free to chime in.

Do you think the cute blonde hottie teacher, LaFave, got off because she was such a little hard body? Hey, judge damn glad we have a legal system and not a justice system. I hope you can sleep at night. A more relevant punishment would have had that little skank serving on my ship for the next six years before she got fat.

Suppose she was the quinea pig in the previous IQ test?

I was wondering the other day how a story would turn out if one person did a chapter and passed it on with the goal of 30 of more chapters all from other writers. Do you think it would be any good? Or would resemble a collection of short stories?

Dinners done I'm out of here......


Oh, yeah one other thing I still haven't seen Dennis Miller for a long time. What do you think they did with him?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

They're off and running

Its that time of the year with the change in the color of the leaves, cooler evenings, dew on the morning grass, favorite football teams to be boasted about and cross country.

Where in the heck did this sport ever come from? At least in my family. I came from a family that saw football as the reson for living. My two brothers and I were larger then the running types and preferred smashing into other people then trying to out run them. I always pictured any future children having the same love affair with the gridiron as I had. I could never fathom a Pirate family member not having an innate desire to play the game of the gods.

But I was wrong. Both sons tried the game. Jock played it through Sophmore year until he decided that his future was on the oval track and football could be an obstical to any success in track. Slick gave it a shot when he was in middle school and found it was not his cup of tea; smashing into others when he nothing against the other guy in the first place.

Blaze never wanted to give football one second of her tme. Senseless was what she saw in the game. Lil Sis though has always been a fan. Since she was very little she has always been Dad's football buddy. I, a Ram fan, she a Bronco fan.

Now she is too old to play football in any organization she has turned into a cross country runner. This last week at the coast north of Tillamook she ran in her first meet.

Her and Slick trudging down the sand and then up through the woods along path ways and hiking trails. Mrs. Pirate and I getting our walking in by moving from observation point to observation point. It was quit a workout for an old Pirate that has spent much of his time on the beach burying treasure and pounding beers.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

September 11, 2001

What began as a beautiful fall morning, like those we all pray for, quickly through hate, became the moment that changed America for ever.

A moment that is burned into the minds of all Americans regardless of their religion, their race, their political ideology, their gender, their age, their nation of origin or any other diverse characteristic we divide ourselves with. A moment that united all of us.

This morning struck us in varying ways and in many places.

It was also the day we began to fight back against those who had prayed for our demise for centuries.

New heroes were born and later hailed.

Old heroes were there as was always their promise.

Resolve became our cry and the long journey into a hell, we call terror, began.

On this fifth day of rememberance please be thankful to your fellow Americans. Take the time to thank our soldiers, the emergency response teams, our elected officials, our neighbors and your families. Because despite all we have seen over the last five years and all that has been said we are still here stronger then ever and united to the end.


Friday, September 08, 2006

I think she's trying to get my attention

I have often made comments and written posts on how Paris Hilton is my kind of gal. Apparently she hasn't heard or has not read my blog. Now she has pulled out all the stops and is going all trailer park on us.

Is this a ploy to attract a real man? Is she sending a message to Mel Gibson that she's ready to play Bonnie Parker in a remake of Bonnie and Clyde?

It appears that Paris has little if any anger toward the Jews but has no problem snubbing Carl Jr.'s. When she was arrested for having a little too much to drink she claimed she was heading for the In N Out for a burger. What, aren't there any cars that need to be washed at Carl Jr.'s? Maybe she was trying to avoid any embarassment for Carl Jr.'s?

Do you think there will be a public backlash? Maybe there will be some video of her doing community service work. I can see her all duded out in an orange safety vest and wearing a white hard hat as she strolls along picking up garbage beside a highway, working up a sweat. Or teaching middle school girls how to properly apply make up so they won't look skanky.

My guess is she will be on Larry King next week talking about global warming and why the "pretty people" and those who matter in the celebrity world, think President Bush is stupid.

Why haven't they released her mug shot? I want to see how she looks all disshoveled and sleepy eyed with a little drool running down the side of her chin. Now that would be hot.

Will someone tell her I noticed her before she goes and hurts someone? Tell her I'll be at Carl Jr.'s trying to smooth things over for her.


Thursday, September 07, 2006

Its Funny How the Truth Bounces

This is for my professor buddy Rev. Dr. Abagambi. If you do not have the stomach for a political post that leans to the right and is in the favor of the conservative point of view. This post is one that believes Clinton and his lefty friends are a detriment to this country and that Bush has been on target the whole time. if this offends your sensibilities then go elsewhere to read. If you think you have a better perspective then leave a comment.

A few years ago the Reverand doctor was foaming at the corners of his mouth as he claimed that Bush, Cheney and rove were going down and possibly to prison for the Valerie Plame escapades. My response at the time was this was much ado about nothing.

Well recently we were provided the truth. A truth that the special prosecutor knew from the onset, that no one in the white house or withing Bush's circles had anything to do with the release of Valerie plame's name to the press. It turns out that it was Colin Powell's number two man at the State Department, Richard Armitage, was the source of the leak.

Typical lefty government operations. Throw millions of dollars against the wall and then see what sticks.

Then these anti-American types thought they had Bush in the corner once again regarding the secret CIA prisons and the interrogations of some of the most evil people to consume air. The ACLU and the other lefties thought that these imprisoned men, whose defining ambitions is the demise of America's, were being mistreated and should be treated by the administration as nothing more then misguided individuals that hate us because of our past transgressions. And tolerance should be provided them.

Bush gave them what they wanted yesterday. These terrorists will be moved to Cuba and eventually tried. Tried right here in the USA in some type of military tribunal. Today the left is in a stir about this and wants these terrorists to be treated in a fair manner. These anti-american lefties do not want the responsibility dumped at their feet. They prefer the position of being a critic and not one that requires they raise a finger in this fight for the future of our country.

Then I turn on my laptop this morning and all the Clintonestas are worked up about the upcoming ABC movie, The Path to 9/11.

These dolts wanted to walk into future without taking any blame on their incompentance at governing and protecting this country against its enemies. These arrogant elitist wanted the history books to lay all 9/11 at the feet of Bush and his administration when there is nothing that can be laid at the feet of an administration that was less then nine months old.

Sandy Berger and Ms. Not-So-Bright think their showing of their fangs to the press and claiming that the upcoming ABC movie slanders them. But it was Berger who was found guilty of stealing documents that pertained to Osama Bin Laden and how their administration dealt with the threat of terror on our homeland. It was also Ms. Not-So-Bright who was the architect behind the problems we have with al Qeada today because she wanted to pursue a "legal" path to bring Osama to justice other then a military path.

What makes me laugh about their whinning about the movie is where were these reprobates when Michael Moore pushing his truth challenged movie?

I just had to get this off my chest.


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

How did they find me?

I have no idea how this ever came about and I need to know where I turn to end it. I don't know how they got my business phone number either.

About two months ago I began getting these telephone calls from salespeople. I don't mean the ones trying to sell you a new mortgage or timeshare condos, not even the ones that want you to switch long distant providers. These salespeople want me to invest monies into their projects.

The first one was regarding alternative energy devices but they weren't as aggressive as the ones that would follow. I was able to thwart their efforts by simply telling them that I was moving back to nature. I claimned my family and I was moving to the Mosquito Coast at the end of month, therefore we had no need for energy and didn't foresee us ever coming back. Unless society went back to lighting the streets with sperm whale oil.

Then my name must have gotten passed around to a more persistant group. Groups that employed the fast talking, take no answer other than yes, groups. These folks weren;t employing your typical Pakistani or Indian, that butchers your name in some boiler room in Asia. No professional shills I would guess.

I have named these people, "sales-terrorists". I have a memo into Cheney and Bush right now to see if these sales terrorists could be elevated to the level of concern by the Department of Homeland Security. Still answer yet. Even with my doctored pictures of Colin Powell giving Valerie Plume some yellow cake (I think its yellow cake, the picture is blurry).

The latest is a cell that goes by the name, Trailer Park Terror Productions. These guys call me six or seven times a day trying to get me to invest at least $100,000 for the movie they are currently producing. The movie is called "The Skin Game". The premise is a whore who lives in a trailer park brings men home every night, she seduces them, screws them and then poisons them. She then peels off their skin and sells the skin to burn victim facilties who use the skin on their patients. She also has their corpses grounded up and sells it as organic dog food at the local "Hippie Market".

The Executive Producer just called me and said he rally needs my money in order to finish this project. He was telling me he was on the sound floor at the very moment we were talking. He said there were no actors present or he'd have one of them talk to me.

Another guy calls me up with a thick New Yorker accent, I think it was a New York accent. It could have been from anywhere other then the West Coast. He sounded too much like Vinnie Barbarino too be from anywhere West of the Mississippi. He was interested in selling me stocks.

I answered the phone and for the next five minutes without taking a breath this guy tlls me why I should invest at least $25,000 in stocks he recommends. And then he asks me what my favorite stock was. I know very little about stocks and have mainly invested in property over the years. So I said "AOL".

He began laughing and asked if i had said, "AOL, American On Line?"

I said that's one. He said hey stupid you don't anything about stocks do you? Let me help you.

I hung up of course. Then this morning as I am rolling my fat butt out of bed my business phone rings and its that Vinnie Barbarino dude again. Only he acts like we have never spoken to each other before. His approach was much nocer and he is going to send me his business card and then next week we can talk what stocks we need to look at.

Beside these guys I have been called to invest in a company that refurbishes train cars, a company that invests in NASCAR, a company that buys HUD repos, a company that restores old oil pumps and riggings, and a company that is pursuing the fashion industry.

My question is where are these people coming from? And how did they get my business number? Why are they so damn aggressive and what makes them think I am dumb enough to giuve a complete stranger such a sum of money as they are asking/

Man I'll take the folks from India selling me mortgages excessive charge cards or even the male enhancement cram salespeople over these terrorists any day.


Sunday, September 03, 2006

Labor Day Weekend

Friends are on the way over for a bar-be-que and a dip in the freshly painted pool. Mrs. Pirate had me up early cleaning and the kids are still grumping about it. So what do I do? Slip off to my office to blog. What a Pirate.

I'm sure I will end up doing all the cooking and hosting so I am conserving my energy.

The state fair is winding up tomorrow.

I know I'll miss all the dust and the horse mounted deputies that ride past the back of our place every fifteen minutes. My schnauzer just loves the horses.

Raider is his name and letting everything that walks past our place know he is king shit is his game. He doesn't care how darn big you are. He gets to barking and sometimes sounds like those indians in the old western movies. The guy is no bigger then a work boot but he must have a self image of Goliath. He even bosses the black lab around like some squatty husband that is damn lucky he still lives in the old country. I think I'll get him one of those "wife beater" undershirts to wear around. Maybe some stripped boxers and a key chain with 46 useless keys on it. He can stroll around giving everbody the business.

The lab has her ways at getting back at him though. She often beats him to the food bowls. I have noticed at times when they are wrestling she rolls over on top of him and crunches him a bit. Nothing that he could call the cops about but just enough to make him yelp. I've even seen her fart in his face when he was laying down behind her. And she would look up at me and I swear to God, she would have a smile on her face. He would actually get up and move. This is from a dog that loves cruising past the kitty box for almond rocha.

Enough of my so called dog life.

Have a good last weekend of the summer and peace...

Friday, September 01, 2006

Things I Noticed During My Hiatus

When you take an actual break from blogging you still write them in your own head. Even though I had made a conscience effort not to blog for awhile I still had a comment for most everything. When something caught my attention I always imagined how i would treat that particular event in my blog.

I noticed that those you grow close to in the blog world have as much if not more in common with you then most of those you have actual contact with on a daily basis.

I've noticed those who blog tend to have a good grasp of current events and tend to be better informed. Even if their points of view may be wrong.

I noticed that both the President of Iran and Osama Bin Ladin have the Democrat speaking points down pat.

I noticed that I do not really like Katie Curic and would much rather get my news from Bob Shaffer and Bret Hume.

I noticed that no matter how hard I try I can not be a good baseball fan. Its too darn slow.

I noticed that football still resides at the top for me. High school, college and pro football over baseball any day.

I noticed the Bush detractors still want it both ways. On one hand he is a bumbling boob who would mess up a wet dream and then on the other hand they see him as this great conspirator manipulating the press. They claim he is behind the destruction of 9/11 and now Spike Lee claims he blew up the levees in New Orleans with jet bombers. For the longest time Madaline "Not so" Bright claimed the administartion had Osama on ice and was waiting for the most opportune time to parade him in front of the press. And she was taken seriously.

I noticed that Rockstar is by far the best reality program on the boob tube, that is other then football.

Speaking of football I have noticed it is all about Terrance Owens. Less of course if you are a fan.

I've noticed all TV emmulates each other. Its either a CSI, a Law and Order or a reality program or something very close to these. What ever happened to PIs and Cowboys? I am about ready for a new Tom Selleck, James Garner, or a new rifleman. Is there anyone out there who can write a story that doesn't have a courtroom, a hospital or a cop shop in it? does everything have to have shallow individuals pitted against each other 'til there is only one standing alone in the shit house?

I've noticed there is no such thing as a permenant record. And this big bruhaha about grades only matters when sisters are bragging about their own kids. I graduated at the top of my class, I have a diploma claiming graduated from college and not once has any employer or adult peer asked to see them.

I noticed that Paris Hilton still turns me on in a white trash kind of way and that I am fastly losing my desire to spend another night with Anglina Jolie. I also have noticed that Britney is getting fat and her maturity makes me yearn for the old trailer park.

I noticed that John Mark Karr proves we have a legal system and not a justice system. Because if it weren't for today's technology they would have already had this twirp strapped to a gurney with a needle in his arm. Can you believe this guy?

I noticed when I blog my mind remains sharper and I work better.